You know things are going to be serious when my whole house is in bed by midnight on a Friday. But there was a good reason. The next morning was St. Patrick's day. Actually, that is a lie. The next day was just a random Saturday, two days before the actual holiday. But for many people, this was their opportunity to drink heavily with time to recover before work starts up again. I wasn't exactly sure what was going to happen, but as usual, it did not end well.
The day started around 10am. There was no orange juice left in the fridge so I grabbed the next best thing. A DC Brau canned beer. Oh look, the can is green. I'm starting off on the right foot.
My next move was to head upstairs and get my green on. Green shoes, green knee socks, green shorts, green t-shirt, and my Irish cabbie hat. It all mixed well with my curly Irish afro and red beard. I was dressed and ready to go.
My first stop was a St. Patrick's Day pregame party at a group of girls house. You could tell it was a girls house because there were crazy desserts like mint dipped oreos, lucky charms cupcakes, and bailey's pudding shots with thin mint spoons...um...yum. (see the other pics here).
The party was fun. Good snacks, lots of beer, flip cup, beer pong, the usual. But soon it was time to head out to the main event. The Ballston St. Patrick's Day Bar Crawl.
If you've never been to a Ballston Bar Crawl it features a bunch of girls who's parents pay their rent so their little princesses can live in a fun place that they can't afford. Mix that with a bunch of drunk fraternity bros and you've got yourself an afternoon s-show. You wait in line for an hour to pay $20 so you can get 50 cent discounts on beers. What a fun time! But first, let me take a selfie!
The bars were as expected. Crowded. Boring. Played out. The customers were the same. But despite my negative attitude I still enjoyed quite a few beverages. Enough beverages to where I got to the point where I decided I had to go home and take a nap. Party over...and only 4pm!
After a brief stop at 7-11 to pick up a hot dog or 3, I walked home and went up to bed. I figured I'd call my girlfriend who was out of town before my nap which could last the entire night. What I thought I said was "Hello beautiful, how is the fun bachelorette party you are on!" Nice work! Oh, wait, that's what I SHOULD have said. Here's what I did say:
"HEY, Hows hanging out with those dumb b***hes at the fatchelorette party!!"
Whoops, not the greatest, but I won't be in too much trouble. Then, the next line came:
"You are on speaker phone!!!!!!!"
So that is how I was introduced to my girlfriend's best friend who's wedding I'm attending in a few weeks. I blame my girlfriend. First Valentines Day, now this...whoooooops.
However, because I'm a trooper, I didn't let this get me down. I took a brief nap and before you knew it I was back out again! Round 2...FIGHT!
This next part was a little blurry. Some shots. A Wizards win. Nobody wearing green. And next thing you know I'm walking home. Did I mention that I lived 4 miles away...did I also mention that I was walking in the wrong direction.
The bar I was at was close to a metro station. I was walking to find that metro station. I walked...the wrong way. Then I regrouped and tried again...the wrong way. One more time...wrong way. I was lost.
Eventually a cab called me...which I guess I called, and I made it home safe and sound and with sore legs. When I told my roommates the story they let me know that the metro was literally 300 yards from the bar and was impossible to miss. Whoooooops again.
Well, now I'm dealing with part I of this miscue while my legs are dealing with part II. Another successful St. Patrick's Day!!!