Snow Day Adventure: Craft Beer Crawl

It was the morning after the great snowstorm of 2014. Work was cancelled. (Wait. I work from home. Work wasn't cancelled. Whoops. Forgot to work). There was a foot of snow outside and I decided it would be the perfect day to take an early morning winter walk and admire the beauty of the Little City in winter.  So how did I end up getting home after midnight with 100 less dollars in my wallet?

It all started with an adult's childlike excitement for a snow day. I briefly woke up around 7am and closed my eyes to get back to sleep when suddenly it hit me. It was a snow day! Woo Woo! No school! Wait, you idiot, you are a grown up. You don't go to school anymore. Calm down. It's just snow.

Just snow? JUST SNOW!? Why I outta!

I jumped out of bed and ran to the window excited about seeing a thing I had seen every year of my entire life. Snow. With a huge smile on my face I jumped into my closet and within a matter of seconds I was clad head to toe in snow gear. My long underwear. My winter boots. My waterproof snow pants. My green hat with a ball at the top. My kitten mittens. I was good to go!

I strapped on my camera (cell phone) and headed down Washington Street and into the heart of Falls Church. It was beautiful. Well. It was snow.

My plan was to take a bunch of pictures, enjoy the walk, and be back home in time for lunch (hot pockets). Everything was going swimmingly (or ice-skatingly). I took a bunch of pictures (seen here). I shot a crappy commercial video (seen below). And I got to see my new city like I'd never seen it before. It was a perfect morning walk.

But something happened as I began walking home. I stopped in my tracks, reverse faced, and all of a sudden I was heading back down and into the city. I can't tell you what made me do it. Was it magic? Was I hypnotized? Was it the curse of the snow? I don't know. What I do know is that I blacked out and when my mind came back into existence I found myself sitting at a bar with a beer in front of me. What the what?

It may be 5 o'clock somewhere, but in Falls Church, it was 11am. I was still hungover from the Wednesday part of my quest to become a legend and it was way too early to start drinking. Perhaps that is why I sat at Dogwood Tavern and stared at my beer for about 25 minutes before mustering up the courage to take a sip.

And oh what a glorious sip it was. It was so delicious. So beery. So...wait you idiot, you aren't supposed to be drinking. You are supposed to be going home and sending a few emails to make it look like you are working! Damn you gateway sip.

I drank a couple craft beers, watched a figure skater smash himself on the ground, and munched on some waffle fries before finally deciding that I shouldn't take this path any farther. I headed back home.

So here at the sort of halfway point of my journey I've had the following beers on draft at Dogwood Tavern:

I got home and my friend was finishing up some work. She was really stressed out after having to work and was looking for some relief. "Let's go grab a drink" she said. Next thing you know I was back at Dogwood Tavern. Oh. cool.

When we walked into the bar my friend let out an "Oh No!". I asked her what was wrong. She said, "Don't you remember what happened the last time we were here?". Uhhh. No. "Well that's the same bartender from when we were here that night." what did I do?

She explained to me that the last time I was there, I was, as she says, "a hot mess". I had no idea what she was talking about and I assured her that the bartender wouldn't remember fact I may have used the words "no chance in hell"...but how can you not remember a legend drunk guy...

Over the next several hours I took down the following "6 Pack" of delicious craft beer:
  • Lagunitas IPA
  • Lost Rhino Rhino Chasers Pacific Pilsner
  • Green Flash West Coast IPA
  • Heavy Seas Black Cannon
  • Flying Dog Pearl Necklace Oyster Stout (bottle)
  • Union Jack IPA

So good.

Right before it was time to leave, a random drunk lady who looked to be a contemporary of my mom approached me and asked me a pretty common question. "Will you take a body shot off of me". Ummmmmmm.

Before I could say no (or yes) the bartender stepped in.

"After what this guy was doing last time he was here, I wouldn't be surprised if he did it"

My face turned bright red. The jig was up. He knew me. He remembered me. It had been a month...but he didn't forget. I forgot the next day, he remembered a month later. Ug. Check please!

I escaped the awkward/embarrassing situation and walked back home. I had some fun and got to sample 8 different craft beers. I looked at the clock and couldn't believe my eyes. I had gone out for a short walk and ended up hanging out at a bar and drinking beer for 12 hours. Another successful adventure in the Little City.

And in case you were wondering. The next night I went to Pizzeria Orso and added a few more to my snow day list:

  • Blue Mountain Kolsch 151
  • Devil's Backbone Schwartsbier
  • Terrapin Rye Pale Ale
  • Natty Boh ($1)

I will drink every beer in Falls Church...

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