It started out how every Friday in 2014 has started so far. I'm working. I'm bored. I look at the clock. And I decide that it's quitting time...at 3pm. Everyone I know was at work, because hello, it is a weekday, so I headed out on another solo mission down to the Broad Street Strip in Falls Church City.
Six establishments, a mix of beer wine and liquor, a lost wallet, 2 Fireball shots, and $100 later I found myself passed out on the floor of my bathroom whining like a baby and screaming that I would never drink again. So how did it all end up this way?
It was First Friday in Falls Church and because, as I said, nobody was around, I went down to check out a place I had yet to visit during my time in the Little City. The Famous Dave's on West Broad Street.
Now, I've been to just about every Famous Dave's in the area. I know the food quite well. But I had never even expected that they would have a bar or a Happy Hour. Well they did, and it was pretty good (more on that here).
Since it was 3pm, and because their tiny 8 seat bar is a secret, I was the only customer in the joint. I ordered the rib tips & chips basket ($5) and a fat tire draft beer ($3.50) and got my solo party started. I figure with all my friends in the palm of my hand, I'm never drinking alone unless my phone breaks. As I always do, I checked in on 4square, noted my beer on Untappd, and Instagrammed my food (shamless plugs...follow!)
I walked to Mad Fox, sat down at the bar, and wouldn't you know it, I got a phone call saying my girl was at my crib. Whoops! I told her she may as well come join me because I had a giant Saison Du Wha in my hands. As it typically works, as soon as she arrived, I finished my beer, and decided she would be skipping the Mad Fox portion of this bar tour. Needless to say, this was strike 1.
She wasn't too unhappy, so she stayed with me, and we headed to our typical Friday starting spot, Argia's. If you don't know about Argia's, you are missing out. This place is the perfect starting spot for a Friday night bar crawl. They have complimentary olives, crunchy breadsticks, and this time they added some free bread to our non food order. WIN! Did I mention they also had $3 fireball shots? And always do...like...always!
We polished off a few beers and then started the beginning of the end by washing them down with shots of fireball. Blurry...blurry...blurry...off to the next spot...
Our next stop, Red, White & Bleu, a gourmet wine/cheese/beer shop on South Washington Street, was hosting a wine tasting. A perfect situation to make a fool of myself and embarrass my girlfriend.
My girl was being classy. Sniffing the wine. Tasting the wine. Slowly enjoying the wine. Asking questions about the wines. Me on the other hand...not so much. I was taking the glass, leaning my head back, and swallowing the entire contents of the glass without even swirling it in my mouth. Class Act.
My favorite was the red...or the white..or...did they have a bleu? I don't even know what we had. I don't even like wine! Why you looking at me that way bae? Strike 2.
If you are keeping track, at this point I've had 2 strikes from my girlfriend, multiple beers, a shot of fireball, and now 4 different wines, and they were all mixing together in my stomach with those fatty bbq rib tips, something that would come back to destroy my life the next day...foreshadowing...
Next up was our favorite Friday hangout, Pizzeria Orso. Why is it "our" favorite hangout? Probably because they have $1 Natty Boh on special during Happy Hour and I f with that (ug terrible saying). While my girlfriend continued her classy wine life, I was living the Boh life, and loving every minute of it. We were drinking so much we forgot to get dinner...whoops...and then...maybe that's why this next part happened.
We left Pizzeria Orso and were headed home when my girlfriend realized she no longer had her wallet. Well...it was some kind of girl wallet. A clutch? Isn't that the thing in my car...I dunno...Anyways...she lost it.
My girlfriend was quite distraught, and I was being a great boyfriend. As we walked back to the restaurant to get her stuff back I assured her that there was nothing to worry about. But when we got back to the place (it had only been about 10 minutes) the wallet girl thingy was not there! Crap. Was this strike 3 for me somehow!!??
This next part was more tense and stressful than words can say. I'm going to yada yada it. The girl got on the phone and cancelled all her credit cards and yada yada yada we walked past the Bowl America where I got a great idea. I thought what better way to forget your worries than taking your aggression out on some bowling pins (instead of on your boyfriend's face).
I laid down my credit card, payed the insane amount of money for all you can bowl for two people and got two pitchers of beer (to continue to help relieve the sadness). We went to get our bowling balls and I tried to find a 10 pounder (I'm strong), but none fit my fingers. I was forced to use a 12...like the girl in the lane next to me...we shared a ball...ug (weight room).
I got back to our lane and my girlfriend was there waiting for me with a weird look on her face. I asked what was wrong and she held out her arm...
It was her wallet...attached to her elbow...where it had been the whole time. Apparently when she put on her coat the wallet slid up her arm...and she had no idea...
ALL STRIKES REVOKED!!!
After beating her in bowling at least 25% of the games played and basically single handedly taking down those 2 pitchers of beer, we walked home. Or so she told me after she woke me up off the floor of my bathroom after my crying woke her up...
Just another night on my quest to be a Little City Legend...